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Trust

Issues

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Symptoms

and Techniques

to Overcome it

Your Coachee doesn’t like to rely on others: Strong tendency to mistrust others and/or even refusing intimacy.

The Wheel of Happiness

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Pervasive feelings of mistrust can negatively impact a person's life. This can result in anxiety, anger, or self-doubt. Fortunately, your Coachee can relearn to control these feelings.  The Wheel of Happiness is an introspective tool to help the coachee visualise all the important levers of happiness in his/her life: gratitude, sleep, nutrition, exercise, mindfulness, acts of kindness, social connections, learn and explore. This helicopter view will allow the Coachee to focus on self-care. 

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Ask your Coachee to draw his/her wheel of happiness grading for each area, the happiness level today and the targeted level. Analyse which areas have the biggest gaps between the 2 levels (today vs targeted) and reasons why.

GoMasterCoach app, including Wheel of Happiness

Reframing

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When it comes to Trust issues, our anger might be inflamed due to relationship issues, we are more likely to close our heart and deteriorate into judgmental, critical thoughts such as “she is such an angry bitch, I can't trust her”. In that moment, we may put the other out of our heart, making them an enemy. As your Coachee is playing negative thoughts over and over in our mind, they become more believable.

 

Reframing in its most basic form is coming up with a different interpretation of an event or experience. It is a cognitive behavioral technique that helps your Coachee change the meaning of something and therefore change the way he/she feels about it and thus his/her experience.

 

For example, if a husband is late at a restaurant, his wife can play over and over negative causes for him being late; OR can decide to appreciate the extra free time to look at the menu or do her things. To regularly practice reframing takes a concerted effort, but one that allows for tremendous rewards. 

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Ask your Coachee to write down

  • the Situation

  • the Thoughts about the situation

  • the Feelings about the situation

  • Four Alternative Thoughts

  • Evidence supporting these Thoughts

  • Feelings post-reframing

GoMasterCoach app, including Tools and Programs

Visualisation

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Visualisation is a simple yet powerful technique during which your coachee sits in a comfortable position, close his/her eyes and imagine — in as vivid detail as possible the outcome.

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Ask your coachee to relax and close his/her eyes. "Imagine yourself in one year. How will you be because of these trust issues? Implications on your family and friends? How will you feel? Now in 5 years.. [similar questions] .. now in 10 years [similar questions]. You see yourself in the mirror. What will you tell yourself?"

GoMasterCoach app, including Tools and Programs

The Empty Chair

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The Empty Chair Technique helps the coachee verbalise what’s going on, the abstract becomes more concrete. As the coachee takes on the other person’s role, he/she gains insight into his/her own perspective as well as the other person's.

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The Coachee faces an empty chair, picturing the person with whom the Coachee is experiencing a trust issue, speaking to the empty chair about the situation, feelings and thoughts. Then, he/she moves to the other chair, responding to what has been said from the other person's perspective, taking on their role. The Coachee can move back and forth several times to continue the dialogue. Meanwhile, you can explore with questions and insights. 

GoMasterCoach app, including Tools and Programs

Common Symptoms

  • Overly suspicious or anxious about others' motives and behaviors

  • Predicting how people will betray him/her without evidence of betrayal

  • Belief that others are deceptive or malevolent without evidence

  • Doesn't like to rely on others

  • Mistrust that interferes with a relationship

  • Lack of emotional commitment, intimacy or friendships

  • Dramatic and stormy relationships

  • May be seen as self-righteous, impossible to please, or unforgiving

  • Feeling lonely and isolated

4 Techniques

to Help Overcome Trust Issues

Sources:

  • The Impostor Syndrome: Becoming an Authentic Leader, by Harold Hillman, Chris Abernathy, et al

  • The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction: A Guide to Coping with the Grief, Stress and Anger that Trigger Addictive Behaviors (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook), by Rebecca E. Williams PhD and Julie S. Kraft MA

  • Coach's Casebook, by Kim Morgan

  • Compassion for All Creatures, by Janice Gray Kolb

  • Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing "Never Good Enough", by Lisa Van Gemert

  • The Fulfillment of All Desire, by Ralph Martin

  • Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, by Tal Ben-Shahar

  • The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome, by Harriet B. Braiker

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