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Perfectionism

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Symptoms

and Techniques to Overcome it

Your Coachee is striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, often overly self-critical and concerned regarding others’ evaluations.

The 360

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Because adults with perfectionism are often very critical of themselves, one of the most effective ways to overcome perfectionism is to replace self-critical or perfectionistic thoughts with more realistic feedbacks.

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Ask your Coachee to think of 5 people whose opinion your Coachee respects and trusts. Ask them for a 360 feedback. For example: what are the coachee's key strengths, achievements, what they value the most about your coachee and one area of improvement.

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GoMasterCoach app, including 360

The Wheel of Life

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The Wheel of Life is an introspective tool to help the coachee visualise all the important areas in his/her life: career, finances, health, romance, family and friends, personal and spiritual development, fun and recreation, physical environment. This helicopter view allows to shift priorities if need be.

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Ask your Coachee to draw his/her wheel of life grading for each area, the happiness level today and the targeted level. Analyse which areas have the biggest gaps between the 2 levels (today vs targeted) and reasons why.

GoMasterCoach app, including Wheel of Life

The Scaling Technique

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Setting high standards will often lead to great achievements, but if those standards become unrealistic, them dissatisfaction is the likely result. Ask the client what "perfect" means to him/her. Perfectionism may be based on a lot of false assumptions. You can help draw attention to and analyse these assumptions. Ask the client what they want to achieve using a Scaling Technique, ensure their goals are realistic and clarify the standards.

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Ask your Coachee to answer:

  • What is good enough?

  • What is the level of imperfection am I willing to tolerate?

  • Will this matter in one year?

  • What is the worst that can happen?

  • What are the downsides of my perfectionism?

  • Why am I a perfectionist? Where does it come from?

GoMasterCoach app

Common Symptoms

  • Feeling of always failing at everything he/she tries, which can lead to low self-esteem

  • Feeling like a fraud / not feeling good enough

  • Seeing "almost perfect" as a failure

  • Focusing on imperfections

  • Taking constructive criticism defensively

  • Struggling to relax and share thoughts and feelings

  • Becoming very controlling in personal and professional relationships

  • Becoming obsessed with rules, list and work, or alternately, can become apathetic

  • Can be prone to procrastination

3 Techniques

to Help Overcome Perfectionism

Sources:

  • The Impostor Syndrome: Becoming an Authentic Leader, by Harold Hillman, Chris Abernathy, et al

  • The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction: A Guide to Coping with the Grief, Stress and Anger that Trigger Addictive Behaviors (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook), by Rebecca E. Williams PhD and Julie S. Kraft MA

  • Coach's Casebook, by Kim Morgan

  • Compassion for All Creatures, by Janice Gray Kolb

  • Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing "Never Good Enough", by Lisa Van Gemert

  • The Fulfillment of All Desire, by Ralph Martin

  • Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, by Tal Ben-Shahar

  • The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome, by Harriet B. Braiker

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