Updated: Apr 18
Before getting started on the techniques, what is NLP ?
NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Neuro refers to your neurology; Linguistic refers to language; programming refers to how that neural language functions. In other words, learning NLP is like learning the language of your own mind!
NEURO: Our Nervous System, i.e. how we experience the world. It can be seen also as our 5 senses or mind, body and soul (mental, physical, and emotional).
LINGUISTIC: Our Language, i.e. how we interact with others and talk to ourselves.
PROGRAMMING: The Results from our experiences and behaviors, as well as the meaning we assign to it.
For example, when I started my professional career, I was worried to smile too much: "If I smile, people won't think I am professional." This cause-effect programming changed. I rewired my brain with a new belief: Now I think: "If I smile, people will think I am more approachable and avoid being seen as potentially cold."
In conclusion, we all have unique maps of the world. This is our own programming. This programming can be acknowledged and changed, as the example I just gave.
Now what are 6 powerful NLP Techniques that you can use every day?
Identify an emotion that you want to get rid of (fear, rage, discomfort..). Imagine you can float out of your body looking at yourself having this emotion. You can then float again out of it, meaning "you look at yourself looking at yourself". This will help distance yourself from the emotion.
When I watched the olympics games in London in 2012, I realised all the journalists were always asking the same question to athletes: "Are you stressed?" Athletes would always answer the same thing: "I feel super excited."What is incredible is that the symptoms for stress and excitement are the same: sweaty hands, short breath, accelerated heart rate. The athletes reframed these symptoms positively. I personally use this technique for myself or clients almost every day. If you are scared talking in public, you could reframe it as an "exciting challenge to help you grow".
Another example would be negative headlines. Why does the press prefer negative headlines? The average click on negative headlines is 63% higher vs positive headlines. Hence the press reframed these headlines negatively.
I use reframing every day in my life. If my partner tells me "Grrr we are stuck in this traffic.", I would say on purpose "This is such a wonderful opportunity to be spending time together." Have fun with it and reframe positively when you hear negativity.
If we start talking about lemons, their smell, their taste, the color, the image of you eating one, you will begin to salivate. The image of the lemon is anchored in yourself. Same goes with many images or emotions.It has been proven that, if before an interview, you strike a power pose for 2 minutes and put yourself in a positive successful mindset, you will dramatically increase your chances to actually succeed.
An anchoring exercise: Think of an emotion you want to feel (happiness, confidence, calmness). Close your eyes and think of a moment you were feeling that emotion. What did you see? hear? feel? taste? smell? To anchor that feeling, press the part linking your thumb to your index. Close your eyes and keep reliving the moment. You will create a neurological stimulus response, which will allow you to go back to that feeling when you press again that part. You can do it also pressing your lobe or any other stimulus you want.
Why do we have small talk at the beginning of a work meeting with a client? It has been proven that finding commonalities at the beginning of a relationship will increase your ability to be trusted. We have a friend, sport, passion in common for example.Another technique to build rapport is body language: - having the same posture with your client - using the same tone - using the same key words. If you can listen to key words he/she uses, make sure you reuse the exact same words - reframing when they stop talking before presenting your new idea / asking a new question
- use the same chunk size: I am super big picture and my partner is super detailed. It drives me nuts when he goes into details for ever. And for him, he believes I am super fluffy for being too big picture. Same with your clients: if you want to build rapport, use the same chunk size they use. Are they big picture or detailed? Use the same chunk size they use.
This technique can be seen as a bit more manipulative.
An example of priming is a wine shop which puts background music.If they put French music, clients will tend to buy more French wines. If Italian music, then clients will tend to buy more Italian wine.
Another example of priming is Advertising.
In coaching, we can use sentences like "I know you are changing and change is good." (example of Milton model). We are priming the client to change.
Swish is about reprogramming your mind from an unwanted behavior to a desired behavior. If you link an emotion to an unwanted experience or behavior. Swish is the process to disrupt that link.For example, linking the act of "putting your hand to your face with a cigarette" to a feeling of pleasure. Tony Robbins was using this technique to help smokers quit. He would lock them with him in a hotel room and make them smoke many many many cigarettes. When they didn't want to smoke anyone, he would scare them and scream at them. He wanted them to associate smoking with disgust and fear.
These are 6 of the most efficient NLP techniques.
Feel free to reach out to firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any question.
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